To Put It Differently, we get in life what we strive for: Our daily Ideas, words, and actions will either make or break our union. We reap either joy or misery via the ideas, words, and actions which we consistently cherish and nurture.
It's, hence, within our power to build a joyful Union: Each couple ought to be able to do this by mastering the keys: this requires commitment, and actively striving with all the spiritual and emotional resources inside us, and lots and lots of prayers.
I've had a life-time of expertise in marriage. I was Married over four years ago at an unusually young age; I can honestly say I left my union work in this fashion. I have also dealt with family problems for over three decades as an imam.
This recipe for a successful union comes from reflections On the Prophetic heritage: The prophet's exemplary personality can surely guide us in building a blissful marriage. The Prophet is indeed the best benefactor for us, second only to God, in this as well as in all other aspects of our own lives.
So here are the 5 tips from Islam that would lead to a joyful marriage:
#1 ContentmentContentment is another very important element in a happy marriage. Happiness in marriage or life, for that matter -- can not be attained without creating bliss. Contentment is the end result of somebody's sincere appreciation for God's blessings, and trust in God's Decree.
By always nurturing a strong link with God, and Daily practice of these principles of calmness, compromise, compassion, Contentment, couples may indeed make union work and worthy of celebration.
#2 LinkThe connection between married couples Can't be based on Infatuation, or a purely physical attraction, or constructed on a fling; rather it must be predicated on one's connection with God, the Creator and Sustainer. By connecting with God, we relate to a greater source of values which transcend our petty & selfish needs, desires and concerns.
Through this, we could anchor marriage on a business base. We become attached to each other not so much due to our own feelings, but because of our shared dedication to God. Even as tawhid or religion in one God connects us with everything about us, it should serve to nourish and strengthen a couple's bond. With faith and confidence in God, marriage establishes a spiritual bond that they treasure and rely on as they face the challenges of life.
Couples That Are connected through tawhid become Partners and companions whose chief goal is to do the will of God together.
Source: Happy Muslim Family
#3 CompromiseCompromise is another crucial ingredient to happiness in marriage. This could only come from consciousness of one's weaknesses and the strengths of the spouses, or by higher spiritual awareness like that of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
This was the secret to the Prophet's achievement in forging and Uniting individuals, and is the identical principle he recommended for achieving pride and pride in marriage. Authentic compromise means that both parties will nonetheless feel respected and that their needs have been met.
Both partners are bound to find such a connection worthy of Investment, since it satisfies their innermost needs for love and respect. This is why the Prophet, when deadlocked in arguing over an issue with his beloved wife suggested that she find a third party to arbitrate the situation. You may wonder: How can the Prophet bring himself to do this? He did so in order to set an example for each of us: that this is the way to solve issues in marriage if a few can't do it themselves -- we need to be willing to open up.
This openness Ought to Be manifested in one's openness to Examine issues from the perspective of others; very frequently a husband and wife get trapped in their own narrow perspectives. Tawhid teaches us to look at the larger picture, and to consider issues from the view of the larger reality. This would provide a much better perspective of the situation, one nearer to justice and truth.
#4 CompassionCompassion is reflected in acting kindly and easily: God tells us that this is the basis of authentic joy in marriage. The Prophet (PBUH) - as attested to by his wives and companions - was full of compassion: they knew of no-one more compassionate and loving to his loved ones. Aisha further said that the Prophet was constant in this, and all of his other excellent character traits.
#5 CompanionshipCompanionship cannot just happen: it has to come from Shouldering one's responsibilities, doing chores together, and discussing the ups and downs of existence. The Prophet set a good example for all of us through his own involvement in daily chores.
By doing chores together and working on large and small Things, a few cements their ties, and builds trust and mutual love for one another. This is the most potent recipe for building a lasting relationship.
Companionship is further strengthened by nurturing Compassion; that should stem from recognition of the truth that one's spouse is part of oneself. God teaches us in the Quran he created spouses for us from among ourselves.
Thus, by recognizing each other as an extension of ourselves, we engender peace and tranquility in relating to each other. This is the nearest thing to a foretaste of heaven: tranquility born of mutual affection and love.